Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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