Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
