Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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