porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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