Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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