I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
