Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
