you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
