first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
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