I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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