you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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