i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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