Michael Bay diarrhea
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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