College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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