We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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