Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
