Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Randomize
