These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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