I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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