Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
