does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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