My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
