Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
