I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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