Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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