I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize