ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
His hands were made for my vagina.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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