i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
