Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
