i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
