I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize
