You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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