Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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