it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
