Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
