I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
