I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
The best revenge is premature balding
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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