she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
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