i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
