They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Let's paint friendship bongs
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize