you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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