i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
People in love make me want to vomit
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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