Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
