dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
