I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize