It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
