Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize