dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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