He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
