Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
