Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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