I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
