At least make sure they are 18
Why
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
