it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
