so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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