I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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