yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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