new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
