i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
