Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize