Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
