On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
