She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I wish i was in the wii world.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
